Modern Chivalry – The Do’s & Dont’s
Chivalry. What does it mean to you? Traditionally ‘chivalry’ or ‘chivalrous behaviour’ is used to refer to courteous acts or behaviour, especially that of a man towards a woman. Today, there’s a myth circulating that chivalry is dead, but will courteous behaviour ever be dead? Of course not.
The notion of chivalry has come into some dispute in recent times. Women and Men should be treated equally and with people more educated in feminist ideals, than ever before – it leaves a grey area when it comes to dating.
So, we decided to offer an ultimate guide to chivalry. If you’re dating a woman or man – chivalry is always going to be a big part of the dating game and getting it right is trickier than ever. Let us introduce you to the World of Modern Chivalry with these simple do’s and don’ts…
Do – Always Text
If you’ve just exchanged numbers, just met or just had your first date and told them that you would text – make sure you do. There’s nothing courteous about not sending a text to say hi or make sure your date got home, make sure you follow up on your promises.
Don’t – Bombard with Texts
Hi! How are you? What are you doing? Have you had a nice day? What are you doing this weekend? – Nobody likes being harassed via text. People are busy and will find the time to reply to you when they get the chance. Bombarding people with texts will make you appear dependent rather than interested. Treat e-mail, text and social media conversations the same way you’d treat a conversation in real life.
Do – Use Manners
Manners are in every way, an important aspect of chivalry. Every gentleman uses manners and nobody will ever see the use of manners as a bad thing. Always exercise good manners and you will go far.
Don’t – Use nicknames
If you’ve just started dated someone, please try and refrain from using nicknames that you may deem to be affectionate, it’s probably either a little cringe or equally offensive. Babe, sweetheart, darlin’ – it’s 2018, their name will do for now.
Do – Hold the Door Open
So this one has come under the firing line in recent times. Some people claim that holding the door open is not acceptable anymore. As a gentleman, holding the door open for someone be it a date or a stranger is always courteous.
Do – Offer to Make Plans
If you like someone, it’s always a good idea to introduce the idea of a date. Many men refrain from initiating a date these days but take the higher ground and offer to make plans. Being creative with your date plans, always makes for a more memorable date! Think of something active, interesting or engaging to break the ‘dinner date’ mold.
Don’t – Rely on her to make the first move
The modern gentleman is confident and charming. The modern man makes the first move. Obviously, this one requires some degree of being able to read the situation, but don’t rely on your date to make the first move – exercise your confidence.
Don’t – Be Pushy
So, making the first move will show your love interest that you’re confident, but don’t be too pushy or forward. Leaning in for a kiss five minutes after your first ‘hello!’ is a little much. Get to know your date before moving your relationship on to the next step.
Do – Always walk on the outside of the pavement
This is an old school one but walking on the outside of the pavement, is a chivalrous notion which is often really appreciated. It’s all to do with body language and these little acts offer a real insight into your caring, personality traits.
Don’t – Walk ahead
Always walk alongside your date. You may be a fast walker but walking ahead is just rude and will not paint a good portrait of the type of person you are.
Do – Talk about yourself
Talking about yourself and your interests shows your date that you are interesting and passionate. Don’t be afraid to discuss what you love and show your date what you’re all about!
Don’t – Talk just about yourself
It’s nice to talk about yourself but make sure you keep it balanced. Chivalry is about making your date feel special, so although they will appreciate hearing about you and your life – keep it balanced and ask your date about themselves.
Do – Stay Groomed
A Gentleman always looks good & smells good. Make sure you stay groomed when meeting with your date. A good shave, beard trim, fragrance and outfit will say a lot about you and your personal style. It also says you made an effort and your date is worth the effort, right?
Don’t – Disrespect
Everyone has different values, beliefs and attitudes – that’s what makes us so special. If you don’t necessarily agree with something your date does or says, you can question them about their values but don’t disrespect them
Do – Be Humble
Being humble is a trait that is regarded highly by many people. Being able to say thank you and sorry with sincerity is something that that separates the boy from the men.